Always A Goal

I swear: if I'm not working toward something, I'm moving backward.

Which is probably why I always have some strange goal sitting in front of me, and torturing myself much to the dismay of my friends and family. 

Most recently it was the miserable "No Drink November." Yes, for the entire past month I gave up soda and booze. Soda because I figure if I can not drink it for a month, I'll give it up altogether. I have addictions to caffeine and sugar and if I can just give up that one beverage forever I will be one step closer to being healthy. 

Damn does it taste good though.

The booze I gave up because I realized that it is truly a part of everything I do. And coming from a family of alcoholics I need to know that I can give it up. 

When I was 12 or 13 my dad sat me down and had the discussion with me about drinking. I'm not exactly sure how it was brought up, but I will never forget the statement: "We come from a family full of alcoholism. And it is a disease. I don't care if you drink. You can even drink a lot if you wish. God knows your mother and I do... But you always need to know your limits, and always be able to walk away."

So I haven't had a drop in 29 days. And as much as I hate to admit it: I feel a whole hell of a lot better than when I started. Minus the first week which was complete detox and miserable.

I had the shakes. Truth.

So "No Drink November" ends Friday evening, and my "365 of Sweat" begins Saturday morning. Like I said, if I'm not working toward something, I'm moving backward.

Who the fuck knows what I'll come up with after this one.

Fucking A.

I set up the blog today having no intention to actually write it for a month.

But as I have fucking antsy pants (fingers) I couldn't help myself but get the proverbial ball rolling.

A few years ago I tried to do a year long fitness challenge. I say "tried" because 3 months in I had a huge life change and quit. Not because of the life change itself, but because I had decided to do the challenge for all the wrong reasons.

The challenge back then was to log 1,000 miles in a year. The idea had so much merit to me at the time. 
A huge personal goal. 
An effort to get healthy. 
Something I could do with my significant other.

What I didn't see was that he was the entire reason I was doing it. He was a runner. A good one. Marathoning came easy to him.Whereas I have to fight for every mile. Granted, I have developed a love/hate relationship with running because of him... but I'll never be great at it. It's just something I know is good for me. So I do it.

Anyway, three months in, he and I were over... and so was the challenge. I no longer wanted it because I wanted nothing that reminded me of him. And I decided my own fitness goals should probably reflect what I love about working out: being active, having fun, and sweating my ass off.

So I've decided that for the next year I want to sweat every day. 

Every.

Fucking.

Day.

Now I know I can't run every day and there should be some rest days in there. I get that, people. I'm not fucking stupid. The goal for me is to move. Every day. All year long. No excuses for weather. No excuses for travel. Walk for 45 min. Yoga in my living room. Go biking with a friend. Run around the block. Take a boxing class. The idea here is to move and sweat. And along the way figure out what fitness feels and looks like for my own personality... and not anyone else's. 

You always get those assholes in your life that think that blogging about fitness or working out is bragging. To them I say: get off your fucking ass then. Being in good shape and healthy is a daily struggle for me. I wasn't born with an awesome metabolism or a propensity for low body fat. I have to work for all I have (which right now isn't a whole lot.) 

December 1st, 2012  I begin my year long journey. Follow me or not. Read this or not. But know that while you are making that decision... I'm on the move.

So I say to you what I will say to myself daily during this project:

Stop being a pussy.